Communication is a two way street. Often, the reason teenagers cite for not talking with their parents is that we just don't listen. Although, parents feel that their teens just won't talk to them.
Who's right? In my humble opinion, they both are. But there are ways to bridge this large gap. Listed here are a few tips, from myself and the parenting teens community, for opening up the environment in your home:
Tip # 1
While we know that being in listening mode is not possible twenty-four hours a day, we still need to show them that we are open to listening when they need us. This time will probably come when we are on the phone or while we are making dinner. Get off the phone, turn off dinner and give your teen your undivided attention.
Tip # 2
Be encouraging, supportive and positive. If your teenager daughter has a fight with a friend, this is not the time to say, "I never liked that friend anyway!" That is a door slammer. Try "Are you ok?" or "Sometimes friends fight. Hopefully the two of you will be able to work it out. Do you want to talk about it?"
Tip # 3
Know that it is ok not to know the answer. It would take a rocket scientist to know the answer to every problem that our teens could face these days. It is ok to say, "I don't know", but follow it with "Let's find out together."
Tip # 4
Fight fair. We hear this often when discussing marriage, but it is even more true when dealing with your teenager. Don't bring up the past. Don't embarrass them in front of their peers. If you get too heated to discuss the problem, take a time out and discuss it when you can be calm.